By: Eily Rose O’Brien

SHHH! No noise. I have control of the word making thing. Probably don’t have much time as my hooman is in next room.

I want to share advice as I am master counter surfer. To all doggos out there, here is my wisdom. I have tips to help you steal the bestest food and not get caught. Read fast!

1. Always Watch

You always need to watch EVERYTHING. Know where your hooman is. Know where other hoomans may be. Keep eyes on the food and where it may go. Know common areas that the hoomans are likely to get food from (the box that heats and the box that keeps cold) and leave unattended. The corner of the table is perfect for helping yourself.

By knowing where hoomans and food are, you can get closer without them watching you. Then you’ll be in a better position to strike.

2. Stay Close to your Target

Must be sneaky at all times!

The hoomans always have food out and available in the room with the table and the hot/cold boxes. The best way to get close to the bestest food is to stay close to the hoomans. It works great. They think you are there to be closer to them but really you want the bestest food. They will never suspect.

You also need to stay close to the real target: the bestest food. You want to stay close enough to strike but not too close that the hooman starts to look at you funny. If you hear the NO, you are too close. Try to look sad and back away slowly.

3. Strike From Behind

This is where tip one and two come together. By watching the hoomans and the food and staying close to the hoomans but having good closeness to the bestest food you can strike at the bestest time.

Strike at the bestest moment when backs are turned!

The timing has to be just right. Watch the hooman closely and when your hooman begins to turn their eyes away from the bestest food that is the time. Strike!!

4. Erase The Evidence

This is the bestest way to not get caught. Erase the evidence. Don’t chew. Just swallow. If the bestest food is gone they can’t know where it went. Maybe it disappeared. Maybe the other doggo ate it. You can even blame it on the cat at this point.

Seriously, the key is to just swallow. Even if there is yucky tasting covering over the bestest food just swallow that too. You may have a little harder time when it comes out the back end but you still stole the bestest food so it’s worth it.

5. Run!

The second bestest way to keep from getting caught is to run away. You swallowed all the evidence, so that’s gone. But get this, if you’re not in the room anymore they really can’t blame you. You don’t even have to go far, just into the next room with the talking box they stare at.

To look even more like you didn’t do it lay down. You can close eyes and they will think you’re asleep or you can give the cute puppy look or turn your head. Now you’re home free.

Yay doggos! You just stole the bestest food and didn’t get the NO. Use my tips and you will eat every time. I have stolen spongy sweet things I heared the hoomans called pup cakes, sammiches, breads and even peeza. Uh oh, I got the NO. Time to go.

Dr. O’Brien Here…

Please forgive Eily. I honestly don’t know what to do with her most of the time. I’m going to let the post stand as there is some valuable information in here. Whether the food is toxic to your dog or not, they’re still going to try and eat it. Whether there is a wrapper or other container that may cause your dog harm they’re still going to try and eat it.

Evidence of Eily’s thievery. Cherry Coke cupcakes (or in her mind pup cakes)

Unfortunately, a lot of food that we eat on a daily basis can cause serious problems for your for furry family member. Please keep an eye out when you are in the kitchen and don’t ever leave food unattended. Believe me, none of us are perfect. Eily was not lying about what she wrote, she’s stolen a lot.

If you ever have concerns about something your pet may have eaten please call Capitol Illini in Springfield or Chatham so we can advise you of any steps that need to be taken.

Eily would like know what your pets have stolen. We would love to hear your stories, so please comment on our Facebook page! Pics are welcome as well.